Wednesday, 14 November 2018

ALIENS OVER ABBEYFEALE!




Reports of UFO’s spotted along the Kerry coast this week have been treated with a certain amount of scepticism by the general public. However, unidentified flying objections have been observed in the skies over Abbeyfeale Hill for generations, and not all of these sightings were due to drink.

Paddy John Batt is a prime example. He was returning home from town late one Saturday night, back in the sixties, when he claimed to have a close encounter with extra terrestrials or “little green men” as Paddy described them.

He had sampled a few bottles of stout in Johnny Joy’s and was chugging slowly up the Hill Road in his trusty Morris Minor. He reached the top of the hill and turned right at O’Brien’s, only to be forced into an emergency stop and screeching halt by a large metal contraption parked in the middle of the road.

It was a big, round yoke, Paddy later recalled, with windows in the sides and aerials sticking out of the top. But, more amazingly, hordes of little green men scrambled all over this strange gadget with screwdrivers and spanners, chattering and shouting excitedly to each other in some weird language.

Paddy got out of his car and approached the mayhem. “Are ye alright there, lads?” he asked. It was nice to be neighbourly.

One of the little green men, presumably their captain, walked slowly towards Paddy with an arm held aloft.

“We come in peace.” he said. “Take me to your leader.”

“Feck off!” Paddy replied. “You’ve been watching too many of those silly American sci fi movies.”

The rest of the little green men had ceased their noisy antics at this stage and watched intently as Paddy came closer and examined their machine. He wondering if it was petrol or diesel.

“Is this one of those flying saucer things?” he enquired.

“It is indeed,” replied the alien leader proudly, “although we have a more scientific name than you humans for it.”

“And have ye come far?” Paddy wanted to know.

“From up there.” The alien pointed to the southern sky. “just over that hill where our mother ship is parked.”

“Ah, Knocknagoshel.” said Paddy. “I know it well. Plenty parking there. And where might ye be heading for?” he went on.

"We are on a grand tour of the solar system,” came the reply “visiting various planets to see if they are suitable for tourism. A kind of a hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy. Space travel is very big with us at the moment.”

“County Kerry is the best place for touring.” declared Paddy. “Killarney and Dingle draw massive crowds and Skellig Michael is fast becoming a place of religious worship.”

“We were on our way to Kerry when we have developed a slight mechanical fault.” explained the alien. “We landed on the high ground here and the battery went dead. We can’t start up again.”

“No problem.” said Paddy. “I have jump-leads in the boot. We’ll hook her up and you’ll be on your way in no time!”

Paddy took out the jump-leads and connected the Morris Minor to the flying saucer. “Try her now.” he said.

The alien turned the starter and the motor stuttered briefly before suddenly bursting in to life, sending a pall of smoke from the exhaust. The little green men gave a loud cheer before clambering aboard the flying saucer and taking up their various positions.

The alien shook Paddy’s hand and thanked him profusely.

“Would you like a quick spin as far as the moon before we leave?” he asked.

“I’d love to,” replied Paddy “but I have to be up early in the morning for the cows.”

“Well, if you are ever in the area of Alpha Centauri,” said the alien. “be sure and give us a call.”

“I will of course,” said Paddy, “although I seldom get beyond Meenahela these days.”

The alien closed down the hatch and the flying saucer rose slowly in to the sky with the little green men smiling broadly out the windows and waving their goodbyes. It did one final victory roll and then swept away in the direction of Mount Brandon.

Paddy sat back in to the Morris Minor and turned on the ignition before suddenly realizing that something was missing.

He jumped out and shook an angry fist up at the star-studded sky.

“Come back here, ye robbing feckers!” he shouted. “ye've taken my jump-leads!”

NOTES
 
DEATH; We offer our sympathy to the family of Kathleen O’Connor, Mountmahon whose funeral took place on Tuesday.  May she rest in peace.
ABBEYFEALE PARISH CHURCH:  Fr Tony Mullins PP 087/2600414.  Fr Brendan Duggan 087/0562674. Fr Denis Mullane 087/2621911. Parish Church 068/51915. Parish Office; Open 11:00 – 1:00 p.m. Tues. - Fri. (068) 31133    Email: fealechurch@eircom.net   Limerick Social Services:  061-314111.    AA    061/311222 Al-Anon 086/8143425. Parent Support worker 068/31019.  Accord NCW 069/61000.   Samaritans Freephone 116123 or text 087/2609090 or email jo@samaritan.ie Aware (Depression & Anxiety) 1980 303 302 National Suicide Helpline (Pieta House) 1800 247 247 Irish Advocacy Network (Peer advocacy in mental health) 01 872 8684 Pieta House (Suicide & self-harm) 01 623 5606 IACP (Counselling & Psychotherapy) 01 230 3536 Shine: (Supporting people effected by mental ill health) 01 860 1620 061 - 412111 or Free phone 1850609090 A.A. 061-311222 Al-Anon 086-8143425 Bereavement Support: 068 / 31203    068/ 31262    068/51984    St Vincent De Paul    Tel 087/1213560 .  Counselling Appointment    061/314213.  Masses:   No morning Mass Monday, evening Mass at 7pm.  Saturday Masses 11am and 6.30pm.  Sunday 9.15am and 12 noon.  Mass Intentions: Wednesday 10am   William & Julia Madden, Dually Thursday 10am Lay Led Liturgy.   Friday 10am Lay Led Liturgy.  Saturday 6.30pm Patrick & David O’Connor, Caherhayes.   Jack & Mary McKenna, Knockbrack .  Sunday 9.15 Michael Farrell .Eileen & Patrick Roche, Killarney Road. Josephine & Michael Reidy, Shanbally.   Bridie Creevy, London Months Mind. 12noon   Sheila O’Connell, Kilconlea. Michael Reidy, Bog Road Meenkilly.   Eileen O’Connor and sister Anne O’Connor Keating late of Main Street & Dublin. Mon 7pm    Lizzie Morris, Longford.Wed   10am    Fintan Hoare Knockbrack. Thurs 10am   Michael , Kathleen and  Julia Collins   Bridge Street
Fri 10am       Michael Scully late of Mountmahon Fri 7pm  Fred Tobin, Main St. Memorial Mass.  Sat 11am       Tadhgean Hartnett, Kilconlea.
  The Diocesan Clergy Conference takes place this Thursday and Friday.  Lay led liturgy will take place those two mornings. 
CHRISTMAS LUNCH:  Community Alert’s 3rd annual Christmas lunch takes place at Fr. Casey’s Clubhouse on Sunday, November 25 from 1- 6pm.  Tickets €15 are fast being bought up, they should be purchased by Thursday, November 22 as the caterer needs numbers in advance.  They are  available from committee members; Sean Broderick, Micheal O’Kelly N.T., Seamus Stack, Mossie Gleeson, Kathleen Collins, Mary McArthur, Buddy and Brenda Barry, John O’Sullivan, Billy Quirke N.T., Cllr. Francis Foley, Mary Jo O’Connell, James Joy, Denis Collins, Marian Harnett.
 “HANDED DOWN”:  The life and times of the late Dan Murphy, Main St. Abbeyfeale at the Heritage Centre, Scartaglen on Saturday, November 17, presented by Donal Murphy and music with the Murphy family.
BOOK ON SALE:  The Treaty Triumph celebrating Limerick’s All Ireland Hurling win is on sale at Ann Lyons’ in the Square.
AA OPEN MEETING:  An Open meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous will be held at the Glorach Theatre on Wednesday, November 14 at 8. 30pm.  Speakers from AA and Al-Anon.  All are welcome.
CHRISTMAS SOCIAL:  The Fealebridge & Headley's Bridge Creameries 49th Annual Social will be held at The Devon Inn Hotel, Templeglantine on Friday, November 30.   Dinner at 8.30 pm.  Music by the Neily O'Connor Band. Everyone welcome!

READING GROUP:  Spiritual reading group will meet next Wednesday after the 10am Mass.
GLÓRACH EVENTS:  Bingo takes place every Monday at the usual time of 8.30 pm.  On Friday, November 23 we will be screening the critically acclaimed documentary film, The Lonely Battle of Thomas Reid at 8.00 pm.  On Saturday, December 15, Seán Keane will be coming back to the Glórach for what should be once again a memorable night of song.  To book tickets for the latter events, please call 0871383940.

JUBILEE YEAR NEWSLETTER:  It is intended to produce a Christmas Newsletter this year. Articles and reports and good wishes from the different organizations of the parish with photographs for this year’s publication are requested.  Please submit to the parish office via email; fealechurch@eircom.net before Monday, November 26.

WINTER CONCERT:  West Limerick Community Radio are hosting a variety concert in the Longcourt Hotel on Wednesday, November 28 at 7.30pm featuring Paddy O’Brien, Willie Relihan, Muriel O’Connor, Fran Curry, Dermot Lyons, Bunratty Harpists, Marion Kirby and more.  Tickets €15 available from Pat Donovan, the Radio Station or John Harrold.
ABBEYFEALE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:  The work has already started on lighting up the town for Christmas with Jim Cahill and team working away diligently every day.  Keep up with all that’s happening on: https://www.facebook.com/AbbeyChristmasLights/

.NOONAN’S CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: Hannah, Tony and Siobhan are all set to switch on their fundraising display for 2018.  Saturday, November 24 is the night and everyone is welcome.  Members of the winning All Ireland teams will be in attendance with some hardware that hasn’t been seen around Tempglantine before. Let the Christmas season begin!
MEETING:  A meeting of Parish Pastoral Councils of this Area Unit will take place on Wednesday, November 28 at 8pm in Abbeyfeale Church. Please make a note of this date in your diary as we would like as many as possible of the members to attend this information meeting on the new pastoral Area Unit Plan - a follow on from the Synod process.   The Pastoral Area Team members are also invited to this meeting.
ABBEYFEALE FOR AFRICA:  We’ll be having a church door collection at all Masses next weekend.  There will be a short talk from Fr. Tim Galvin about his work at the 12 noon Mass on Sunday, November 18. Envelopes will be available which can be returned over the following week.  A social get together in the Day Care Centre will follow. 
DROMTRASNA CHALLENGE 2018:  Total raised was €26,393.90 which will be divided equally between the two charities.  Many thanks to everyone for their overwhelming support and generosity towards this year’s event.
BAKERS REQUIRED:  The annual cake sale in aid of Fr. Tim Galvin is on Sunday, December 9 in St. Ita’s Hall from 10-2pm and we’re calling on our usual bakers for their donations to this worthy cause.
  GRAVEYARDS:  The Graveyard committees wish to thank you for your generous support to the collection last weekend. We will have our usual display for Christmas also. Thanks again. 
  RAMBLING HOUSE:  A Christmas rambling house will be held at Fr Casey’s club house Abbeyfeale on Thursday, December 20 in aid of the Chemotherapy Day Ward at Kerry General Hospital.   Your support would be greatly appreciated and all singers, dancers, storytellers and musicians all welcome to attend.  Doors open at 8.30 and show begins at 9pm.  Spot prizes and Santa will also make a visit on the night
  WEDNESDAY PRAYER:  Parishioners are invited to gather in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel on Wednesday afternoon at 3p.m to recite the Divine Mercy Chaplet for  Vocations to the Priesthood and Religious Life.  This prayer meeting will take place every Wednesday.
CRAFTY CORNER:  Knitting and crochet group have resumed classes on Tuesday nights at St Ita's Hall Abbeyfeale. New members welcome. Just drop in.
CRAFT CO-OP:  Abbeyfeale Craft Co-op has resumed in St. Ita's Hall on Thursdays from 11- 2pm.  New Member's Welcome.  Any information required contact Mary 087 2237363. 
 ICA:  Abbeyfeale ICA guild meet on the first and third Tuesday of the month at the Further Education and Training Centre, Mountmahon from 7.30 - 9.30pm..  Activities include Talks, Demonstrations and Workshops.  New members welcome. Tel. Anne Maria 06831145 for details.
HARNETT INTERNATIONAL REUNION 2019:  Committee Meeting Thursday in St. Ita’s Hall at 9pm.  Email HarnettReunion2019 @gmail.com for further information or check out Harnett Reunion FB page to keep up to date with all the plans for a fantastic weekend July 11-14, 2019.